Omelet du Damaage?

This will be a short one. It has to do with something I learned today. If you're trying to learn how to flip an omelet "chef" style (in the air) then always start with twice the amount of eggs you want to eat. Today I started with a two egg omelet and ended with a one egg omelet. The stove top devoured the other half. A little practice never hurts before trying to impress your company. The problem is, I've been practicing for awhile and still lose a lot of eggs to the trash. I hear practicing with tortillas works pretty well.

So I can't flip an omelet... Well at least I can de-bone a chicken.

Convert “Healthy” to “Good Tasting”

My sister in law works as a nurse for the elderly.  She cooks meals for my mother in law every week.  If you taste one of these meals, unless you’re 80, you’ll find them quite bland.  But don’t be fooled, she is a good cook.  Her recipes just need some slight modifications in my humble opinion.  That’s the case for a lot of health conscious people.  I’ll bet every one of us has at least one recipe book called “Healthy Eating” or “Cooking for Health” or something of the sort.  One I have on my shelf is called “Joan Lunden’s Healthy Cooking”.  Like my SIL, Joan’s recipes just need some slight modification to make them tasty…probably not as healthy as Joan’s but tasty.  You can see a meatloaf recipe below complete with my modifications.  The premise is basic.  Ground turkey (I hate that crap!) is substituted with a mix of ground beef, pork, and lamb.  Skim milk (I hate that crap!) is substituted with heavy cream.  Egg whites (WTH?) are substituted with a whole egg (go figure).  What results is one of the best recipes for meatloaf recipes ever.  Don’t thank me, thank Joan Lunden.  Remember, unless you’re baking, there’s no reason to leave ingredients you hate in a recipe...or ingredients you love out of one.

Empanada...the forbidden dance...err...dessert.

Sometimes you just gotta go out.  Those of you who are as old as me will remember a time when government didn’t infringe upon our rights to kill ourselves with fast food.  Do remember the time when McDonald’s served fries deep fried in oil that made them taste good?  Do you remember when they used to serve hot (albeit very bad) coffee?  How about those wonderful deep fried turnovers; apple which usually ended up with you peeling the skin off the roof of your mouth and cherry with which you were lucky to avoid any broken teeth due to pits.  Ah those apple pies…dripping with grease…and flavor!  Now they are these mushy, cake-like, tasteless carbo bombs.  To me, food is like go karting…if you can’t hurt yourself with it, it’s not worth doing.  So here’s a tip for all you who miss those days when food was meant to enjoy; not be a healthy, dietary supplement to your day. 

Today I had a Caramel Apple Empanada at Taco Bell.  It inspired this blog and gave me a flashback to better culinary times (if you can call a deep fried turnover culinary).  This thing was awesome…a heart attack in a crispy turnover shell.  Go to Taco Bell and have one…just don’t have one for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.  And don’t even think about suing me for recommending it.  If you don’t know fast food is bad for you by now, have a nice life…until you’re 58.  The Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empa-freakin-great-nada!  The other, other, other white meat. LOL